God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i think my tv is drunk
I wish I only lived at night.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
