My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
