So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize