If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
