the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
