is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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