If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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