Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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