Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
