its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
