The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
