is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
