I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
