i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
