Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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