"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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