Don't you send me to vm
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
