Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
