I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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