my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
