So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I am one with the molecules
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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