i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
