Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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