he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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