I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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