Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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