But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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