I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
