i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
