So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Send help, water and tortillas.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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