I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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