marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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