I want to walk on stilts...naked
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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