after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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