Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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