if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Couch. On fire.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize