hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
