OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
