Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
