HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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