Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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