I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
