we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
