She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
