So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
