i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
