i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
