Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
