I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
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