Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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