It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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