I think my vagina is haunted
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
