He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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