I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
