Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
