called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
