she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
