I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
