Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize