proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
