i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
