the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
