kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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