please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize